When we contacted interior designer and lifestyle expert Alexandra Stoddard to get her thoughts on Valentine's Day, something unexpected happened: spurred by our topic--romance--she and her husband of nearly 30 years, Peter Brown, ended up planning a weeklong celebration honoring their togetherness. Following are her tips for doing the same with someone special in your life, or for treating yourself during this romantic holiday. As you'll see, romance isn't just about the "goopy" stuff; it's about being happy, making the most of every moment and surrounding yourself with your version of beauty.
Focus on Relationships
"Peter is my number one," says Stoddard. "I put him over myself, I put him over anything." How does this couple keep the love alive? Some ideas:
Make dates. Say goodbye to work and errands and take the whole day off together . (Psst: Valentine's Day is a perfect day to do this!) Spend time cooking a favorite meal together; after eating, sit quietly by a fire or candlelight. Take the television out of the bedroom. "That's just not allowed in our house !" says Stoddard. Even removing it temporarily, for Valentine's Day, will allow you to focus on each other rather than the tube.
Develop a few favorite rituals. It's the small things, such as setting the dinner table with candles and linen napkins, that help make every moment a celebration.
Write each other notes. Keep things positive and upbeat by sharing your feelings in writing. Or use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to write love letters to each other.
Humble yourself now and then. Do a favor for your spouse or special person; buy flowers or other little gifts as a thoughtful surprise.
Toast each other often. "We toast at breakfast with our coffee," says Stoddard . "It allows you that opportunity to have real, penetrating eye contact."
Create Ambiance
"Romantics are exceedingly aesthetic," says Stoddard. Though she feels no particular need to decorate especially for Valentine's Day, here are some of her ideas for setting the mood at home:
Use lots of flowers. If red roses aren't your thing, try red tulips instead.
Dress for the occasion. The redder and silkier your clothes the better. Or how about red shoes?
Make a no-sew red-and-white ribbon tablecloth. Drape wide red ribbons over the length and width of a plain white tablecloth for a dramatic, romantic effect.
Decorate with paper doilies. "I put them in the bottom of wastepaper baskets , I love them so much!" says Stoddard. "They're very practical too, because they keep the bottom of the wastepaper basket clean."
Use red chopsticks to eat dinner. "Peter and I decided that would slow us down so we wouldn't eat too fast," says Stoddard. "Very romantic!" Play your favorite music. Handel's Messiah, though not for everyone, is a great choice to get the spirit soaring.
Make a simmering brew to give fragrance to your home. Stoddard takes a big pot and pours in apple juice or cider, adds a little water, then throws in cut-up apples and oranges (skin on), cloves, cinnamon sticks and loose herbal teas. Don't forget the candles and wine!
Remember the Romance
Romance is not about a single day of the year or about the material things you buy for each other. It's more a state of mind. "You don't have to be with another person to be romantic," says Stoddard. "Do things for yourself." Put on those red satin pants and make yourself a beautiful dinner! Choose a day to get up and fix breakfast, then take it back to bed on a tray to eat. Light a candle, fix yourself a pot of tea, read good books, buy yourself a box of candy or a bunch of flowers , write a letter, take a bubble bath... "Valentine's Day is about love--and loving yourself," says Stoddard. "The happier you are, the happier the world is going to be."
Books by Alexandra Stoddard, available from Amazon.com
