Working with men can be great – once you’ve figured them out. It doesn’t take a woman too long to realize that they are, in fact, another species altogether.

Gender differences, especially with regard to communication, have been the cause for much laughter and interesting conversation where I work. Yet it has also helped me to gain a better understanding and appreciation for the way God has built men.

My intention is not to generalize about gender differences. There are always exceptions to the rule because of the diversity of human beings. Yet there are certain generalities than can be helpful to us if we are willing to take note of them. Most of all, gender differences are a lot of fun – especially in the workplace! Here are some differences we can learn from.

Contrast #1: Thought processes
Men are more linear and factual thinkers, while women, on the other hand, tend to think more conceptually and with associations. Women’s minds are like underground subway systems – everything is connected. Men’s minds are like ships sailing along the ocean, going from point A to point B.

Contrast #2: Giving orders
Men tend to be more direct, while women give orders using softened demands and tag lines. Women are naturally disposed to maintain harmony, so they will follow up a demand with something like, “If you don’t mind.”

Contrast #3: Compartmentalizing
Men can work with people they don’t like. Women generally can’t. This is because men can compartmentalize – work is work. But women naturally make associations (see contrast #1). Joan will find it harder to work with Steve on Tuesday if she witnessed him being needlessly rude to the waiter at the restaurant on Monday night.

Contrast #4: Expressing feelings
If a man wants to express his feelings, he’ll talk to his wife or girlfriend. Women are willing to talk to more than just close friends about their feelings – coworkers, hairdressers, doctors, people on the bus, the other lady standing in line at the store, call-in radio hosts, Oprah…

Contrast #5: Handling problems
If there’s a problem, men think about it. For women, it isn’t enough to just think about the problem on their own. They need to articulate their thoughts without even necessarily wanting solutions. They want to discuss it and have someone lend an ear and their time to them. Men want solutions. They like to fix problems and not just discuss them. So when you’re talking to a man, you can expect some sort of solution, even if all you intended was simply to be heard.

Contrast #6: Goals
While men and women are both dedicated to achieving goals, they do so in their own way. Men tend to focus more on the end result. They are task-oriented. Women are more concerned with the process involved in accomplishing those goals and tend to be more people-oriented. So if you’re at a meeting where two men are involved in a heated discussion about something, remember that it doesn’t always imply a bad relationship.

Contrast #7: Feedback
Men can be more direct and blunt when giving feedback about something, whereas women tend to use more tact and sensitivity. That’s why when you ask a man for an opinion about your idea, and he says something to the effect of, “It stinks!” he wonders why you’re upset. Expect a brutally honest response. And remember that they’re responding to the idea and not the person – it’s not a personal attack.

Joan: “I was thinking we should implement the program in the various departments before scheduling so that way we can save production costs. What do you think?”

Steve: “Yeah, right – and then what? Wait until everyone’s done testing it? That won’t help us in any way.”

At this point Joan is thinking to herself that Steve just called her an idiot when he really didn’t.

Contrast #8: Asking questions
Men rarely ask questions. Even if they do, it’s usually to gather information. Women ask questions more frequently, but for two purposes – to gather information and to cultivate the relationship. That’s why women sometimes ask questions they know the answer to, such as, “So you’re back from vacation?”

Contrast #9: Phone calls
Men like to keep calls brief. Women prefer to chat. See how Joan and Steve ask another coworker about packaging.

Joan: “Hi, Claire. How are you? So I heard you began your sailing lessons this week. Mmmhmm. My dad used to compete, y’know. Yes. That’s wonderful. So I was talking to Steve and we were wondering about the packaging and how you’ve been coming along with all of that…”

Steve: “Hey, Claire, packaging done yet?”

Contrast #10: Coffee breaks
Ever wondered why men don’t take coffee breaks?

For the 3rd time in a row…

Joan: “Coffee break?”

Steve: “No.”

Meanwhile, to themselves:

Joan: He never wants to chat; he must not like me very much.

Steve: I can’t believe she wants me to stop drinking coffee!

As you observe these and other contrasts between men and women in the workplace, remember neither one gender’s style is better than the other. Men are perfectly right to be more direct while women are perfectly right to be people-oriented, even in the workplace. Women are nurturers, and this quality can enhance any work situation. Men are natural providers. They are task-oriented and like to get the job done. These two styles compliment each other perfectly, as long as there is an openness and understanding on each part. Vive la difference!