In a world of fast food, quick fixes and high speed everything, it's sometimes hard for parents to remember to slow down and spend some one-on-one time with the little people they live with -- their children. Dr. Leon Hoffman, co-director of the Parent Child Center in New York, says, "Although we seem to be living in an atmosphere that insists that anything worthwhile must be accomplished with quick shorthanded methods, like with technological gimmicks, we are becoming aware of the immense rewards and satisfaction parents can gain from partaking in a child's emotional growth and development. This can only happen in the one to one relationship and interaction."

 How important is it to spend time, one-on-one, with children? Through parent-child interaction, children begin to learn lessons that cannot be taught in school. "A parent getting down on the floor and playing with a child helps the child develop skills in interacting with people and helps the child develop his or her emotional skills," says Hoffman. "Play is child's work. Through the one to one interactions between a parent and a child, children develop a capacity to put their feelings into words and begin to learn about empathy for other people. This kind of learning takes time and requires time spent with our children."

Children, regardless of sex, also require one-to-one time with their mother, away from other siblings and even separate from their father. This time with mom allows children to comprehend, as well as learn from, their mother's personal traits. Children will then be able to see their mother as a person with feelings, words and emotions, not just as a caregiver. "Mothers play an important role in the lives of their children, both boys and girls," Hoffman says. "Daughters will learn the usual lessons from their mothers, but sons may not be given the opportunity unless one to one time is offered and shared."

Michelle Pearson from Leaf River, Ill. says, "I think it is so essential for mothers to spend one-on-one time with their sons. Showing a son how affection, respect and patience play a part in a woman's life is so important to helping a son understand women and treat them accordingly."

Offering one-on-one time with a child is just one part of the package. Ensuring that children enjoy their interaction with the parent, as well as making the experience as special as possible, also play a role in quality one-on-one time. How can a parent plan to ensure this time is beneficial? Let the child decide.

 Martha Pieper, co-author of Smart Love and columnist for the Chicago Parent says, "If your going to give a child one-on-one time, let them choose how they spend it. This provides the best benefit of the time together. Everyone else's needs oftentimes determine how a parent's time gets spent, especially with younger children. This is not the time to get the child to practice their spelling words or do a chore. Ask the child: "What do you want to do?" He may want to kick a ball, hear a story or play a game. Just the fact that he has his parents' attention and he can choose what activity they can do together will do wonders for the child."

Making special memories between parents and children can be as simple as taking a picture, finding a souvenir of the occasion or just being able to mention the special date or place to remember the time spent together. These memories do not have to cost anything. Parents often mistake spending money for attention. Some feel that if they purchase the special shoes or toy that their child has been wanting, they have given their child the attention they need and desire. "A child will not choose spending money over spending time," says Pieper. "A parent cannot substitute their attention, affection or love with gifts. In order for the child to benefit from the one-on-one interaction, the parent must give their undivided attention, nothing more."

The benefit of one-on-one time between parents and children goes beyond making memories. Negative effects and behaviors can often occur when a child is deprived of the parents' sole attention. The child may feel he is not getting the attention he truly wants and will settle for whatever he can get, including the negative. "It's hard for a child that never has time alone with their parents because they may always feel deprive of parental attention," says Pieper. "The danger is they will try to get the parents attention in a negative way in acting out behaviors, temper tantrums, hitting, biting, writing on walls, however they feel they can get that attention. Kids really need focused attention from parents; they need it. It is part of their requirements of growing up, just as they need food. They will get it one way or another. It's much better to have the child know that he is going to have someone to one positive attention from parents then to force them into a corner to where the only kind of attention they can get is negative."

 In families with more then one child, sharing special time with your children is essential. Each child needs to know they are loved as a person, not just as part of the family. Especially now, in a world where most families rely on both parents working outside the home, children desire their parents attention.

Joyce Roberson a therapist from Albuquerque, New Mexico says, "In this hectic world of have to do, have to finish and needs to be done, remind yourselves, as parents, that nothing has to be. You can look back, at the end of every day and ask yourself, 'Is my child happy and healthy at this minute?' If your answer is yes, nothing else has to be."